Have you ever felt like the wind has been taken out of your sails? Like they have been slashed, your boat overturned and you are sinking? It happened to me today - I'm in recovery mode and happy to say, I'm recovering quickly. Allow me to briefly explain....
Several months ago someone gave a us a generous gift. A situation arose where someone else could use the gift more than us; so we paid it forward. No big deal....so I thought.
Today, the person who gave us the gift found out we didn't use it; the situation was explained, but the person just didn't get it. I literally felt the wind rip my sail down. NOT because of the act of giving, but because the person didn't get that someone else needed it more than we did.
I suppose this bothers me because for the last several weeks at church we have been listening to a series on financial peace, simplifying our lives and being more generous. And, even though this event happened several months ago AND the person who gave the gift has not had the benefit of hearing the sermons, I still almost got angry. I say almost, because I caught myself.....you see, we're also studying forgiveness in our youth group.
Almost as quick as the anger rose, all the scriptures we have looked up on forgiveness began running through my mind. No, I couldn't quote them, but I know God calls me to be forgiving, just as He forgives me. I took several deep breaths, squelched the anger and composed myself.
I think disappointment is the emotion I'm feeling. I know in life people are always going to disappoint us; and, I think it is ok to have high expectations of certain behaviors, it just makes the fall harder. This is why I remind myself to put my trust and faith in God. He will never disappoint, fail or mislead me. And, He is always willing to forgive, so it is something I should learn to do as well.
The sail has been repaired and being re-hoisted as I type.