Well, I have reached a milestone in my motherhood career. I don't know that it is actually a milestone, but it feels like one.
Every year the spouse has a conference in Destin, Florida. It is for his continuing education for his pharmacy licenses. Since Destin is only one hour from my parents we always make a week vacation out of it (at least since we've moved to NC).
My parents were very excited we were coming to visit since this year we had the O Show with us. Somewhere along the line it was discussed that we would leave the O Show with them while we went and enjoyed ourselves at the beach (where the conference is located) for 3 days.
For many weeks I didn't even think about how I would feel about leaving her. Then, a few days before we left the spouse asked if I would be able to leave her....of course, the anxiety level went up and up and up, and well, you get the picture. I have a little of an anxiety problem, and it has tripled at least since the O Show was born. I have a lot of scriptures I put through my head and speak when these times arise, and I'm learning a few more.
Sunday morning it was time to leave, and I was really nervous....not that my parents couldn't take care of her, but just crazy thoughts running through my head. I sent a text out and asked some of my close friends to pray for me. One of my dear friends sent back "I will pray for comfort and ease that you can relax and enjoy yourself and not have fear and anxiety. I love you." Those words have stuck in my head, and I believe God is using those words to keep me calm.
It has been a little over 24 hours and I'm doing well. I waited about 12 hours before I sent a text to my mom asking how things went. Of course, all was/is well.
I'm constantly learning that God is for me....He did not give me a spirit of fear, but of love. I'm currently trying to memorize Isaiah 41:10 from the Message:
Don't panic. I am with you. There's no need to fear for I'm your God. I'll give you strength; I'll help you. I'll hold you steady, keep a fim grip on you.
A dear friend recently told me to memorize Philippians 4:6-7 in the Message as well:
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
I'm learning to submit to let Christ displace the worry in my center and have Him become my center.
In His Grip,